Caveat Reader

Let the reader beware:
What you are about to read may just be the worst legalese ever written in the history of Western jurisprudence. Not because it's complicated, but because it hurts.

The following case is written by a judge that needs to be held in contempt of court for his horrible, horrible sense of humor (I am paraphrasing, but the quoted portions are from the bad jduge). :

Stambovsky v. Ackley

The plaintiff, Mr. Stambovsky bought a huge victorian house from the defendant, Ms. Ackley. But soon after the deal, Mr. Stambovsky heard a nasty rumor that Ms. Ackley's house was haunted! In fact, the whole neighborhood believed the house was haunted and Reader's Digest even wrote an article on it once. Needless to say he wants to back out of the deal now.

So Mr. Stambovsky is suing Ms. Ackley in order to get his money back. Mr. Stambovsky should get his money back, but not because of any fraudulent misrepresentation on the part of Ms. Ackley.

(And here is where the nauseous prose begins) "While in pursuit of a legal remedy for fraudulent misrepresentation against the seller, the plaintiff hasn't a ghost of a chance, I am nevertheless moved by the spirit of equity to allow the buyer to seek rescission of the contract of sale."

And the opinion goes on and on with the horrible ghost puns. Can't you just imagine some old white-haired judge chuckling at himself in his chambers as he writes his opinion, thinking, "I'm a funny chap, I could've been a comedian. Who says law is dry and boring? Just wait till law students read this. They'll be laughing out of their chairs."

And sadly enough, I actually did think this opinion was funny.